About Strategic Marriage Coaching
I created Strategic Marriage Coaching to change the culture of Christian marriage, so that they will be held up as an example, to the world, of what marriage should be. I believe we Christians, have generally done a terrible job of teaching couples how to thrive in marriage. We talk a lot about how marriage is hard work, without giving the skills required to do that work successfully or efficiently. We talk a lot about how marriage takes commitment, without being specific about what that means in daily life. We talk a lot about how couples should avoid sex before marriage, and that premarital sex is a sin, without telling them anything about what married sexuality should be like, or that, within marriage, it is a blessing. And so, my mission here with Strategic Marriage Coaching is to provide marriages with the skills and help to create strong, productive, joy-filled marriages that glorify God. If you would like help achieving this in your marriage or future marriage, please fill out an information request for either premarital coaching or marriage coaching or you can simply email me at James@Strategic-Marriage.com.
Getting married or just thinking about it? Want to know what questions you should ask, what you should know about your future spouse? Perhaps you want to learn skills that will help your marriage, to be strategic in this major life change. Don’t become a divorce statistic, learn what you need to know BEFORE you get married to have a successful marriage. Interested in how Strategic Marriage Coaching can help? Click the button below.
Marriage struggling, but not sure why? Or perhaps you do know why, but you don’t quite think you need counseling. Or maybe you’re just stuck in a comfortable rut, wanting to move your marriage to the next level, but not sure how to get there. Marriage is the most important relationship in your life. Don’t wait until it is in crisis before addressing the issues. Interested in how Strategic Marriage Coaching can help? Click the button below.
Recently Posted Articles
My wife, Christina and I went to the Ontario Science Center recently on a homeschooling trip with our four children. We had a blast, so many things to learn, and play with. One of the exhibits is a 200 kg rock, suspended by a single cable from the ceiling a few inches from the ground. Attached to it are four elastic bands equidistantly separated that you can stretch them away from the rock, in a limited fashion. The purpose is to teach about momentum, about how very minor changes over time, some small work, can affect great change.
When you first try it, alone, you pull the very weak elastic back (you can only move it about a foot), and you cannot even see the rock move, the force is so imperceptible. But, if two of you, working on opposite ends, work the elastics in turn, working for the same goal, within a few minutes, that 200 kg weight starts to swing inches from the center. With my wife standing across from me, working together to move this massive object, I was reminded of marriage. (read more…)
Conflict resolution is a needed skill in marriage, but too often, we never get taught how to resolve conflict effectively. In fact, too often we are taught ineffective communication behaviors without realizing we are being taught them, be it from marriages around us, TV, books, movies, or something else. These six communication behaviors extend conflict, focusing attention away from the root cause of the conflict, and instead focusing attention on the argument itself.
Many of us have heard the marriage advice of never going to bed angry, based on “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26). Like much marriage advice, there is truth in this, but it is also dangerous. Too many take this to mean that conflicts need to be settled before bed: either that we need to brush aside or ignore conflict, or that we must stay awake until all hours of the night until the conflict is resolved. We believed this lie for many years and would stay up until all hours trying to work through problems, but we’ve learned that it is possible to have conflict and yet not be angry, and in many cases, it is a good idea to take a break from the conflict, for a time, in order to continue under better circumstances.